Ghosts That We Knew
by aeiouae
Summary: lost with a new character, hope I didn't change too much ;)
1. Chapter 1

Ghosts that we knew

Ok so this is basically the same plot of lost, as far as the beginning goes, with a little bit of twist towards the end ;) the major difference is the addition of a character: Skylar. She throws a wrench in a bit of the plot, however. I stressed about the name forever but I gave up on finding a better one so anyway lol... I hope you enjoy! I plan to go through pretty much the entire six seasons plus quite a bit after and we'll see about maybe adding an epilogue! Enjoy :) (oh and it will be first person perspective, it might switch around so ill make sure to let you know who's doing the thinking)

Chapter One

SKYLAR  
My eyes flutter open, revealing the blue sky above me. For some reason, something in my gut squirms at the sight. I try to collect my thoughts and open my eyes wide and sit up quickly when the memories hit.

(Flashback to the plane)  
"Hey."  
"Don't talk to her please, ma'am," a stern voice replies to my greeting. I look at the floor, my cheeks reddening, and move on to find my seat. However, as my eyes fall I happen to catch a glimpse of the silver cuffs chained to the seat and holding her hands. I close my eyes and groan inwardly as I realize my stupidity.

I sit and try to enjoy the flight as we take off, but the events of the day coupled with what just happened are wearing on me. I nod off and pray for no nightmares.

I am jolted awake by screaming and the shaking of the plane. I look around and notice that the section I am in is relatively empty except for me and the prisoner and her guard. My mind spins as I take in the yellow thing in front of me and realize that it is the oxygen mask. Trying not to panic, I fit the strap on my head and take deep breaths.

The tail of the plane rips off literally yards behind me, and I can no longer contain the screams as my mind succumbs to the blackness.

(End)

I look around and see the prisoner lying next to me, unconscious. My instincts overwhelm my inhibitions and reach over to try and wake her. When she doesn't wake, I feel for her pulse and can't find it. I push away thoughts about her being the same gender as me and lean down to give her mouth to mouth.

After a few minutes of alternating between blowing air into her lungs and doing chest compressions, she coughs and I inwardly thank God that she came to during the less awkward part. Her eyes blink a few times before opening and she startles at the sight of me and the jungle behind me. She groans at the memory and sits up. She looks at me and I know she recognizes me. Something in her eyes tells me that she's wondering whether or not I saw her handcuffs earlier. The cuffs are gone by some work of magic and I can see her rubbing her wrists in my peripheral vision.

"Hey," I say trying to end the silence.

"Uh, hey," she says after a pause. I can tell she is uncomfortable and knows that I know her secret. I can also tell that she is glad not to be alone.

"You alright? I think I'm fine beyond minor scrapes thankfully," I ask.

"Yeah..." She trails off and I know she's as scared as I am. " Do you think anyone else..." She whispers and I nod.

"It couldn't have been that bad if we barley got scraped." I'm trying to convince myself as well as her as I say it. She nods and suggests that we both go in opposite directions and see if we can find others. I agree and find myself wandering through the jungle, briefly wondering if it will end or I will be walking numbly forever.

I begin to hear the sound of screaming grow louder and louder as I begin to see a thinning in the tree line ahead of me. I part a few branches and nearly faint at the sight that greets me as I step onto the beach.

I summon up my courage and walk out into the havoc before me. There are a few chunks of plane strewn across the beach, along I few bodies I don't think will be getting up. I can't take it anymore and fall onto my knees on the sand a few yards away from the wreckage. I let the tears fall as I feel my body racked with sobs. I bury my face in my knees as I hug them to my chest. I sit there, sobbing, for who knows how long until it seems like every drop of water in my body has fallen down my face. I sniff and open my eyes.

The screaming is gone, and I look around to see most of the people sitting in small groups or sitting alone and making me wonder if that's really how awful I must look. I hear something shift next to me and jerk my head around to find a man sitting next to me.

"Hey goldilocks," he smirks, referring to the blonde curls that fell down my back.

"Hey yourself," I mutter, wondering why on Earth he was sitting there. He laughs and runs his hand through his chin length, dirty blonde hair.

"How old are you girl? You look like you're fifteen at the most," he teases and I roll my eyes.

"I'm nineteen and my name's Skylar thanks for asking," I say, a little annoyed at his curiosity.

"That's a pretty name for a pretty girl like you," he whispers in my ear, and a chill run down my spine. I jerk my head away and look him in the eyes. They're a chocolate brown color. "What's you're name?" I probe, hoping to learn at least something about the man I just gave my info to.

"Sawyer," he says and flashes me a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2  
SKYLAR

He tucks my hair behind my ear, lovingly. Something inside me clicks, and my defensive mode turns on. Whenever someone threatens to get too close, I have learned to turn myself away. And so when Sawyer leans in for a kiss, I slap him across the face.

I'm worried that I offended him. When I finally bring myself to look at him, the look of pure anger in his eyes pierces my soul. He does not look like someone who I should anger. Terrified, I run, as far and as fast as I can before he comes after me.

I feel like I ran for miles. But when I look around me, I am only to the far side of the wreckage. I sink down on my knees and slowly bring them to my chest. I hear someone walking up behind me, and fear seizes me. I turn slowly, and tears fill my eyes when I see that it isn't Sawyer, it's the prisoner. She looks a little shaken as she asks to sit and I nod. She settles into the sand in the same position as me. I realize that I can't just go on calling her 'the prisoner', so I ask her name.

She smiles and says, "Kate."

"I'm Skylar."

"I, uh, built a little shelter over there. If you don't have one, I mean if you don't mind, or you don't want to build one, you know, you could stay with me if you want." She mumbles and I smile.

"I'd love to." She smiles, relieved. She turns and points to a small shelter that consisted of a piece of scrap metal and a tarp.

xxx

Kate and I lay side by side in the small space, neither of us able to fall asleep. After what feels like a few hours, Kate whispers something about having to use the bathroom. I decide to go with her, and soon we're walking to the ditches that had been dug for our toilet needs a little into the jungle. By this time, it's pitch black outside and I can't see Kate, and I'm operating off the feeling that she's close by.

I stop, listening for her footsteps. I hear them coming up behind me slowly, and I faintly remember her being in front of me when we left..

Someone tackles me from behind and I scream before they clamp their hand over my mouth. I try to struggle, but they pin me to the ground, with their arm across my chest and their knees pinning down my hips. My mind races and I can't stop myself from thinking, 'it's jack, it's jack, he found me.'

(Flashback)

My hands and feet are tied, and there's a strap across my torso plastering me to the bed. I can see the shadows pass across the slit of light under the door while he paces. In my mind I know why he took me. But I don't want to think about that.

The pacing stops and so does my heart. The door bangs open and slams behind him. I try to breathe. Then he strides toward the bed, pushing me into hyperventilation. I gasp for air as he moves my tied hands up until they are hooked on the bedpost. I try to scream but my mouth is taped shut. I feel him pulling on my shorts and try to pinch my legs together and kick him.

My mind rushes back to the self defense techniques I learned after the first incident. I force my tongue through my lips and begin working the tape, while trying to work my wrists free. I try to focus, but I can't. My mind is spinning, I'm hyperventilating. And as my shorts slip off my feet, any hope I had of keeping my head vanishes.

(End flashback)

I tell myself that I won't lose my head; not again, not this time. I slip my tongue through my lips and startle him, taking advantage of his surprise and bite his hand. I'm hoping that I can maneuver my way away, but he responds to my surprise by landing a hard elbow in my chest. I scream as loud as I possibly can until he plants his back on my mouth. We both know that someone had to of heard me by now.

The placement of his hand inside my waistband tells me that this is going to go farther than I want it to. I resist as much as I can, but I know from experience that only makes it hurt more. I give in, let my body go slack. I hear dark laughter.

I take my mind off my body and onto his face. Chances are, it's a random passenger who I haven't seen yet, maybe who met Kate and thought I was her. Part of me wants that to be true, the other half despising me for wishing such a thing on her. I suspect, though, from his anger and passion that I have met him before. And since I've only met two men so far on this island, and one of them happens to be obese, I know exactly who he is before I open my eyes and look up at his twisted face.

Sawyer.


	3. Chapter 3

I can't keep my mind on his face for long. He's kissing me, undressing me, I know what's happening. But it feels good. I should be hating him. I should be wanting to murder him, the way I have always felt before. But I don't know. Something about the fire where our skin touches. My will to resist is lost in his touch.

My mind is so wrapped up in itself that I don't hear the footsteps. I only notice we're not alone when Sawyer is ripped off me. I curl into a ball, hoping to find my shirt or his, even, something to cover myself. My cheeks heat up and I look to see who caught him, or us, I don't really know. But when I look, the blush fades along with my warm feeling. I know this man; too well. And so I know exactly why he's here. So I'm not surprised that he's angry with Sawyer; he beat him to the punch.

He throws a few punches at Sawyer but let's him dress. I've managed to pull my tshirt on, and this seems to anger him. He turns my way and I brace myself for the beating I know is coming. When the first punch comes, I don't flinch. I only flinch when he begins kicking.

I don't like being weak. I don't like that he is kicking and I'm not retaliating. He's decided that hitting my back is the most painful, and concentrates there, which happens to be an advantage. I roll onto his feet and knock him over, so that he's sitting on his butt, looking pretty shocked. I kick him in the face before grabbing my clothes and running away.

After I'm a good distance from him, I stop and dress. But after sitting down, I don't think I'll be able to get back on my feet. I mentally yell at myself for being so stupid and take my shirt back off to try and staunch the bleeding on my face. I have a few cuts on my face from the punches, and a few spots on my back and arms where the skin split. I'm sure I'll have plenty of bruises by tomorrow. I could have covered up what happened with Sawyer. But this, the fact that I'm going to be covered in bruises, and he and I are going to have bloody faces, is going to not only be hard to cover up, but it also ties us together. There's going to be no doubt that we fought; that I got the brunt of it. Maybe he'll be too ashamed to show his face. I doubt that.

I give up on trying to stop the bleeding and start screaming. I scream for help until my voice gives out. I hear a rustle in the jungle and I don't have time or energy to panic before Kate steps out. I can see the shock on her face. I must really look like crap.

She opens her mouth to speak, but I just shake my head and let her help me up. The tears flow and I glance over at her, seeing the panic and concern in her eyes. I put my arm around her shoulder and she helps me walk to the beach. We make it out of the tree line at the far end of the wreckage, near our little camp. I sit on the sand by the fire and cry myself out. Kate is terrified, trying to get me to tell her what happened. She probably thinks that it was that monster that tore through the jungle earlier.

I sit and cry until dawn, and convince myself to wash my face and try not to look like I was just raped. And beaten. Somehow, trouble just seems to follow me. I grab a new pair of clothes out of a suitcase that I found and head down to the water, with a little more energy now that the bleeding has pretty much stopped. I sit in the shallows and slowly work the stuff from my skin. First on my arms, where I can see bruises beginning to flower. I move on to my face, hoping that it doesn't look as bad as it feels. Kate comes up after I'm done and helps me change. I thank her and decide that she should know what happened.

I sigh. "I guess you wanna know what happened." I say in one exhale. She looks a little apprehensive but she nods.

"I was raped." Her face drains of color and her mouth hangs open. I can see her trying to figure out what to say, and she's lost. So I continue. "When we were going to the bathroom, I got separated from you. I heard someone behind me, and I thought it was you so I walked towards them. Only..it wasn't you." I look at my feet and feel the tears threatening to start again. I don't want to cry, so instead I keep talking, pouring out my secrets to a woman I just met.

"It's okay, though. I mean it's not the first time," I trail off. I was staring at my feet, but after a brief silence I look up at her. She seems genuinely curious. And I think concerned. Probably for my mental stability.

I sigh and look down at my feet. I hesitate, and then open my mouth to continue, but she cuts me off.

"I'm sorry you don't have to tell me. I shouldn't have asked."

"No it's fine, really. You should know." I say meekly. I take a deep breathe to organize my thoughts and continue. "It was three years ago. I was sixteen- I'm nineteen now. My parents were more scared than I was. I guess I was just shocked. My dad killed himself about a month after. I remember thinking that I had nothing to fear because everything had already happened to me." I laugh harshly and her eyes widen.

"So you were wrong?" She asks hesitantly. I nod and roll my eyes. I don't know why I can laugh about what I've been through. I guess I'm just used to pain. I decide to continue because for some reason, I know despite what she's probably done that I can trust her.

"He came back. The guy. He tied me up and took me to his house. He, uh, well I guess he liked what he saw and came back for more." She flinches at my joke and I sigh. "Sorry it's just.. easier to laugh than cry." She shoots me a look of pity and I feel a strong need to prove myself. Show her I'm more than just a victim; that's what everyone sees me as. So I continue.

"The first time I got pregnant I made the mistake of telling him. He kicked me until I miscarried." I lift my shirt, showing her the two boot print scars on my stomach that serve as reminders of the child I never met. I shake my head to clear it and continue, "the next time, I figured it out but I didn't tell him. I didn't get a bump so my secret was safe until she was born. But I'm not sure if that was better," I choke back the tears. "Little Margaret. And Shawn. And Rose." The tears come and I try as hard as I can to choke them back. When I get myself under control, she asks, with a catch in her voice, "so how did you end up on a plane to LA?"

"I escaped. The night I had Rose. I had let a scream slip out, and he came to check on me. I had a blanket over me, over us. He forgot to lock the door; the only stroke of luck I've ever had. I wrapped up Rose and snuck outside, and I ran with her in my arms until I was sure he couldn't find us. " I give her a look and hope she can fill in the details I don't want to say. Losing Rose was a crushing blow and a relief at the same time. She was the only thing left to tie me to him. I know she can only assume so much so I decide to finish off my story. A thought about pouring out my soul to a stranger flashes through my mind but I keep talking.

"I made it to town and found an old friend. She was pretty freaked out. I guess you can understand that," I look over at her and she gives me a half smile through the tears that have begun slowly trolling down her face. I bite my lip and mumble something about how the rest doesn't matter before running back to our little shelter. I curl into the fetal position and cry until I have no tears left.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok so thanks to anyone who has read this so far! Please review! Hope u enjoy

Ch 4

KATE

The weight of what Skylar just revealed to me is filling me with pity. But I for one know that pity is not what she needs. I take a look at the bloody sand to my left, where she was sitting moments ago, before she ran away. Probably to the shelter; I can't imagine she would get far in the state she's in. I think back to my earlier encounter with that man, stitching up his back. The bravery I saw in his eyes that inspired me. My mind turns his image over and over again until I'm lost in thought.

I don't notice when the same man comes and sits next to me. I only look up when he asks for my name. "Kate," I tell him.

"I'm jack." I nod and he goes back to staring out at the ocean. His eyes wander and fall on the blood beside me. He gasps a little and my eyes narrow for a second. He has a cut in his eyebrow...my mind pushes the thought back. We crashed; it's from the wreck. Maybe he got in a fight. He scans my eyes for signs of uncertainty. I am about to speak when he beats me to it, "whose blood is that?" He says casually. A little too casual for a pool of blood, but once again my mind pushes it back. I tell him Skylar was bleeding and he insists that I take him to her. I don't see a reason why not to, so I lead him up to the small piece of wreckage we had been calling home.

There is blood in the sand around her head and her tshirt is stained on her back, but that's what I expected. It seemed to have stopped now so I figured that was ok. But when I look over at Jack I'm very confused. I'm momentarily distracted by my feelings for him yet I recover my train of thought relatively quickly; for me, anyway. He looks very scared and a little in awe. Skylar is in the fetal position facing the jungle, and the look on her face is a bit terrifying, I have to admit. She looks like she has been to hell in the last few hours. A pang of guilt racks my conscience, for not coming to see if she was ok after she ran away. I had tried to rationalize it; I hadn't thought I would find her like this. Jack slowly crouches down and raises his hand to tap her shoulder. She screams and rolls over, with a look of pure terror on her face.

I try to shush her and calm her. She ends up in my arms looking at jack quite darkly. He offers to stitch up her face and back, and she doesn't answer, just looks out into the jungle. I avoid her eyes; the pain inside them is too much for me because I know she has been through so much more than I have. Jack leaves to get the sewing kit after an awkward pause and comes back with a needle and thread and some alcohol.

SKYLAR

We both try not to give anything away as he stitches up some of the cuts along the side of my face that he punched quite a few times. To my surprise, I didn't have a black eye. Yet.

He finishes up with the last cut on my face and begins working my skin free of the dried blood he put there. I hold back a harsh laugh at the irony. He finishes up, and I can tell he doesn't want to see my back. I don't think I do either. But we don't really have a choice, and I begin peeling of my shirt.

He helps me and it finally comes over my head. I can't help but be glad that I'm wearing a sports bra under and not what I was wearing last night. He looks a little disappointed and I resist the urge to punch him again. I look down at my back, a twisting motion that I know was a bad idea. my back is basically all dark blue and purple, with a darker line down my spine. I shiver and look away. He sews up the few cuts along my spine, which hurts a little more than it did on my face but I barely notice. I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that when he finally leaves, I just curl back into a ball and fall asleep.

I wake up to Kate's voice. She's talking to someone. I hear my name and roll over to see her talking to a girl. A very pregnant girl.

"She's fine ok? She just got a little beat up in the crash, Claire." Claire? I sit up at the sound of her name, too fast, which elicits a little whimper as I feel my stitches pull against my skin. Our eyes meet, and I can tell she's just as surprised to see me as I am her. She mumbles my name and wraps her arms around me, making me groan. She lets go quickly and bites her bottom lip nervously.

"It's okay, I'm just..sore." I look in her very worried eyes. "How did you end up here?" She whispers. I just shake my head. I don't want to talk about it. Kate clears her throat. I had forgotten she was here too.

"Do you two know each other?" She asks, confused. I laugh, which surprises me consider how awful I feel, and tell her, "we're sisters. Well, half sisters anyway. We have the same mom." Claire laughs at my awkward response, and soon all three of us are. Except I have to stop because of my stitches. I sigh and shake my head. I pull my shirt back on and we spend the rest of the night talking around a little fire.


	5. Chapter 5

SKYLAR

After Jack goes to bed, Kate and I stay by the fire a bit longer. I try to keep my bitterness off my face, the accusation and pain out of my voice as I find that she loves him. She tells me how she stitched up his back, the story he told her. I don't tell her what I think of that. I don't tell her that he is the man I told her about this morning. I don't say anything. I just let her talk about him until I can't stand it any longer without lashing out. My voice is strangled while I try to speak without showing my pain.

"Can we go to bed now?" I try to sound like tiredness is my motivation, when in reality I just want to escape this world for a few hours if possible. I might sleep; I doubt it. Her eyes grow wide at my tone, which tells me I utterly failed. But she nods and we head back to our makeshift home. I drift off into a disturbed sleep only to wake in about an hour. It's almost dawn anyway.

(I'm going to skip to when Claire and Charlie have been kidnapped! So as not to bore you with insignificant day to day stuff! Only thing you need I know is that she and sawyer have been avoiding each other)

"No!" I scream. She can't be; she can't be gone. No. Not another person torn from my life, and her baby. And Charlie. Sweet Charlie. Who I'd admired so much for protecting my sister, who was fragile in her pregnant state. The despair creeping into my mind was strong, nearly pushing me farther away from hope than I'd ever been. My only family left, my sister, my niece or nephew to be. With the thought, 'now I'll never know', I break down into Hurley's arms.

He looks pretty distraught at my reaction. I am too. I pull myself into an acceptable state and tell them that I want to come with them to find Claire and Charlie. Kate gives me a sympathetic look and opens her mouth to try and persuade me not to come, but I cut her off. "I'm coming okay? She's my sister and I'm not going to sit around while other people try to save her!" With that, I set off behind Jack and Locke and Boone, and she follows.

Xxx

Locke, Boone, and I's daily jungle expeditions were arousing suspicion. Boone wanted to tell Shannon. I agreed with Locke, but only because I hated her attitude. She would probably tell Jack and where would we be then? Besides, Locke and I had formed a bond in mutual distrust of Jack, even though his was more of a gut feeling than a hatred based on years of evidence. Either way, we both had an unspoken pact of not telling him about our findings. So we persuaded Boone not to, or rather Locke did. He told me to collect fruit while he talked to Boone. Must have been one hell of a talk. But Boone listened from that point on. Except today, he was particularly frustrated as Locke led us through the jungle, madly muttering something about a plane. I had no idea what was happening either, but I trusted Locke's instincts more than my own. At last, we break into a clearing and he sighs in relief.

He points to a yellow plane lodged in the vines on the side of the cliff, and I'm shocked.

"I'm going up there!" I declare and begin climbing. Boone protests.

"Skylar wait! Let me go," he begins but I tell him to shut up and keep climbing. I find the top of the cliff and clamber over the crushed wing to climb inside. The plane creaks precariously and I hear Boone shout my name.

"I'm fine!" I call out.

"I'm coming up there!" He shouts, and I don't protest. To be honest I'm kind of scared. I look through the plane to get my mind off it. I find some drugs in the back, which doesn't surprise me. I laugh to myself and Boone steps in, sending us off balance. The plane stabilizes again, and we both let out the breath we didn't know we were holding. I sigh and reach for some of the stuff to show Locke.

"What's in there?" He shouts, with obvious excitement. "Drugs!" I shout back and throw my handful out the window. The sudden movement sends the plane crashing down silently as both Boone's and my screams are silenced by fear and shock. The plane smashes to the ground, sending a piece of the wing into my back, neatly knocking me out, but I'm not that lucky. I don't know where Boone is, but I can hear someone sifting through the wreckage. Locke. The bastard. He led us to this stupid plane. Every good thought I'd ever had about him wiped away when this plane brought me and him down with it, Boone, who I loved enough to push me to tears.

JACK

I snap awake at the sound of screaming. Damn it! How could I have let myself fall asleep! Someone could have been killed. I get up and run out of the cave to see what happened. My eyes settle on Locke, who has blood stains on his shirt, which makes my heart skip a beat. He was hunting, but something tells me that the bodies that he is pulling by the wrists are not boars. He was with Boone and...Skylar. I find her blonde head in the brush behind him, and this time my heat does stop. Tears fill my eyes as anger fills my heart and I run toward her, thinking she's dead, she's dead, and it's his fault. I resist the urge to kill Locke and run to her. She looks...awake. I cuss under my breath and scoop her bloody form into my arms. She cried out in pain, and the familiar sound doesn't strike me like it usually does. It is like a knife to my heart. So this time I don't laugh. I run over the cot by the cave and lay her down as Locke sets Boone down on the ground nearby. As soon as I settle her, I turn to Locke, ready to hurt him, as bad as I can. But he's gone. I'm so mad at that bastard that I can barely function. But Skylar and Boone are depending on me.

"Sun!" I shout, "help Boone!" I start washing the blood off Skylar and she's moaning in pain. My mind is clouded by anger no matter how hard I try to clear it. "Hurley! Get Kate!" I nearly scream, knowing that the two had gotten close lately. My mind clouds over and I focus on Skylar. Sun has ripped on Boone's shirt and is cleaning out his wounds from him being dragged across the jungle by his wrists. I do the same with Skylar. Except she's awake; Boone's unconscious. Her cries and screams as the alcohol burns in her cuts are heard by everyone in camp, and I know they're curious and concerned, and probably scared as well. I know I'm scared. Of what's going to happen to Locke if he ever shows his miserable face around this camp again.

Kate rushes around our makeshift curtain, stopping dead in her tracks when she sees what's going on. "What happened?" She says in a hushed whisper. I just shake my head keep working.

SKYLAR

The pain of falling was nothing compared to the pain of being dragged across the jungle floor. That would have hurt without the gashes to get branches and leaves stuck in, to be pulled apart and soak the dirt in my blood. But from my shaky vision I can see I am faring better than Boone. I hold in my cries of pain because I know this is the only way to save both of us. We are both going to live. Jack will save us. Funny thinking that he's tried to hurt me so many times and now my life and Boone's are in his hands. But I won't blame jack so much as ill blame Locke. He brought us out to that damned place; I trusted him and he only got us hurt. So I'm not surprised when he drops my wrists and runs. I see Jacks face appear above mine, saying something. I think it's my name, but the world is silent after the blast of the crash. He slips his arms under me, rubbing too many painful places for me to keep my mouth shut.

He runs me over to the makeshift cot where he treated people, laying me on my back. The gash from the wing is the most painful one by far and it's on my back. He rips off my shirt, pulling at my skin and making me scream. A little louder than I should have judging by his tears. My own tears follow soon after, making my breathing even more rugged. He sets about cleaning my wounds with alcohol and I can't keep from moaning in pain. I can hear weaker moans from someone nearby and I'm temporarily distracted by thoughts of Boone. But then I hear Kate rush to my side. I wish I could speak, to tell her I'm alright in here, but I only can shut my mouth and let the tears stream down, stinging the cuts there but also washing them out. She has her own tears now and I just want this to all be done. I look away and see a figure in the jungle behind them. My heart skips a beat when I see that it's sawyer. With some very confused thoughts, I slip into a welcome blackness.

When I finally can open my eyes again, I see Sawyer still in the same spot. My heart leaps a little even though I try to suppress it. I shouldn't love him. I shouldn't have enjoyed what happened that night. I should be feeling the dirt or at least the numbness I felt the first time, when it was Jack. I look to my side and see Jack siting there, looking pretty tired and depressed. He catches my eye and looks relieved.

"Skylar," he breathes. "Oh my god. You're ok." I nod as slowly as I can. I try to swallow and clear my throat. Even so, my voice sounds pretty rough and the words are painful to pull from my throat.

"Boone." At first it's all I can manage. I force myself to continue, "Is he..." is all I can force out before my voice cracks.

Jack looks at his feet, tears filling his eyes, casting a look of anger and regret across his face. "He died." He says, softly sending my mind into a whirlwind. Because now I realize that our relationship was based purely on our expeditions, how little love I feel for him and how much guilt I feel for trusting Locke over him. I try to push the dark thoughts away but I know they will never leave.

I just nod, holding back the tears. "How long was I out?"

"A week." Oh my god, that long? That explains the soreness in my muscles yet the healing feeling. "There's a service for Boone in an hour, if you want to come."

"Of course," I reply. I wouldn't miss it.

"Maybe we should try to get you waking first." He laces his fingers through mine and slips a hand behind my back, causing only a fraction of the pain it did the last time, for which I am grateful. I manage to keep it down to just a groan through gritted teeth, but with the soreness and bruising I feel like screaming. He slides me into a sitting position, and I let out a deep breath. This is going to be hard. Do if for Boone, I tell myself. He would want you there.

It takes me an hour to do it, but I finally end up sitting in the sand next to Boone's grave, hugging my knees. It's still empty; Jack went back to get his body and left Kate in charge of me. I feel better than I did before, and I know that I'll be able to walk back on my own. People are filing in around me, most with looks if shock on their faces. With the struggle of getting up and over here, I hadn't realized that I was still in my bloody sports bra. I decide that I really don't care enough, I came all the way to the beach and that was enough for me.

After they lay Boone down in his grave and cover him in dirt, we all just kind of hover there, not sure what to do. It's silent. That is, until a voice behind me nearly scares me to death.

"I'm so sorry Skylar," he says. I grab Kate's arm and stand as gracefully as I can- which doesn't exactly count as graceful considering I cuss under my breath- and turn to face Locke, who's still wearing the same white shirt that he wore a week ago. He sees the anger in my eyes and puts his hands up to defend himself. He mumbles a few more apologies but I'm still angry.

I lift my hand and slap him as hard as I can, right across the face. "I was pregnant." I almost scream before breaking down into sobs. Kate puts her arm around me and walks me away from a very shocked crowd. I can hear Jack beating up Locke as Hurley tries to stop him but I don't really care.


	6. Chapter 6

Sawyer seeks me out not long after my confession. I try to avoid him, and I succeed for a few days with excuses of having to get checked out by Jack or going to pick fruit with Kate to get my strength back. But I can't avoid him forever.

"Wanna talk about it?" He's right behind me.

"Not really."

"Can I sit?" He asks, and I pat the sand next to me. He settles down, with his forearms on his knees. He looks just as nervous as I am about this talk. Everyone is talking about it, with Locke now as the enemy of the camp, outcast by everyone except Walt, who seems to have a special interest in him. I don't get it.

"Was it..mine?" He asks in a hushed whisper, terrified of what I might say. I wish I could say no, save him the horrors of being plagued by what they might have ended up like, what they might have done. But I can't lie to him.

"Yes," I breathe, focusing on digging my toes in the sand. He looks away and I can tell he's trying to keep his tears in control. I hate to see him like this.

"I'm so sorry for what I did to you," he says quietly. "I've never met a woman who was hard to get, I guess I just wanted you and you didn't want me back and I went insane."

"I want you." I admit quietly, a little ashamed. My response lights a fire behind his eyes, and he whispers, "I love you," and leans in to kiss me. And this time, I don't slap him. I don't know if I'm ready to love again, but I'm falling in head first and there's no way out, so I just whisper, "I love you too," and deepen the kiss. The move kindles the fire behind his eyes that I must surely be sporting as well. Keeping his lips locked on mine, he slides his arms under my back an knees, carrying me into the jungle. We walk deeper, and he pulls away. He is smiling, with a raging fire in his eyes. His eyes ask me a question; I answer by smiling and kissing him even more fiercely than before, if that is possible. He pulls away to slip off his shirt, and I do the same. He smiles and leans down, laying me on my back on the soft patch of grass he found. His hands stroke my body, and our fire burns higher. We go farther and farther, until we are both burnt out.

He kisses me and rolls off of me. We are both gasping for air but it only makes us kiss all the more passionately. He at last pulls away and hands me my shirt. The fire behind his eyes is gone, replaced by a glow that I can feel in my face as well.

He grabs my hand and helps me up. I have trouble finding my feet; I'm still recovering and well, I'm exhausted. He smiles, and I smile back. I plant a kiss on his cheek, and he laces his fingers through mine. We walk back through the jungle, and he takes me right to the edge of the tree line where my little makeshift house is. He drops my hand, our fingertips lingering together for a few seconds, and then he walks back into the jungle. I turn around, and Kate is sitting a few feet away, with tears in her eyes. I duck my head, knowing she saw Sawyer walk me here. She has feelings for him; I know it, I can tell. I don't know how this fits in to her feelings with Jack. But she cares for Sawyer. Enough to be hurt by our... Whatever you want to call it. Relationship. I walk past her, heading towards the ocean to wash up. She clears her throat as I pass, and I turn to look at her.

"Claire had her baby," she says simply. My face lights up, and she tilts her head in the direction of a small mass of people, obviously checking out Claire and her baby. I give Kate a half smile and venture over to check on my sister.

She smiles when she sees me coming, and slides the warm bundle into my arms. "Boy or girl?" I ask.

"Boy," she says excitedly. My smiles widens and I plant a kiss on first his little forehead and then Claire's. I hand the little guy back to her and put my arm around her shoulder, playfully reminding her of the six inches I have on my older sis. She laughs and plays with her sons small fingers.

The glow of love and her face sends shooting pains through my chest, and thoughts of my little ones fill my mind. Tears fill my eyes but I blink them back, not wanting to ruin the moment for Claire. But she sees them nonetheless, and she looks my way and tells me with her eyes that we will talk about what happened to me later. She doesn't know; only that I was kidnapped. And that's all I want to tell her. My thoughts are interrupted by Michael speaking up.

"You guys look so much alike!" He declares, and a few others nod. Claire and I just laugh and look at each other.

"We're sisters!" Claire says through our laughs. It feels great to laugh, and soon everyone is joining in. My eyes focus on Kate, sitting by our shelter hugging her knees. My smile fades, and I congratulate Claire, so that I can slip away to talk to Kate.

By the time I reach her, she's calmed down quite a bit. I sigh and sit down next to her. She looks up and gives me a half smile, but I can tell she's not fine. There's a hesitance behind it.

"Do you love him?" She whispers.

"I don't know," I whisper back, "do you?"

She shakes her head a little. But I know she's lying.


	7. Chapter 7

skip a little, sorry I just know that u all know what happens to the other peeps during the course of the show, so I'm just gonna say the parts where things happen that are important..sorry I stink at ANs so here's chapter seven for ya

SKYLAR

"Juliet, please," I whine, "just let me go." She has me cornered. She's been trying to talk to me all week and I have been avoiding her. All I want is to get to the cereal box behind her and eat my breakfast in peace.

"No," she says firmly, and I know she's not moving. I groan and run a hand through my hair. I haven't told anyone yet; she won't be the first to know. Definitely not.

"I just want to eat my breakfast in peace, Juliet. Is that too much to ask?" People are starting to wake up, taking away my advantage of being an early riser. I usually eat my breakfast with Juliet, silently, since she gets up almost as early as I do, and then I head back to my tent and read until Kate wakes up. This is not going to be a good day.

"Let's take a walk," Juliet suggests with a toss of her head in the direction of the jungle. I groan and follow her in. We find the well worn path to the mango trees, and she asks the question I've been dreading ever since she came to camp. She stops, spins to face me, and I know I'm done for.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" I keep my face calm. I'm a good liar.

"I was, you know that. The plane..Boone.." I don't look her in the eye because I know that's not what she's talking about.

She sighs. "What about now Skylar? Right now?" She prods and I run a hand through my hair, my nervous habit and she knows that. I just gave myself away; part of me is relieved and the other part of me is angry for giving in so easily. She makes a soft noise and I look up, finally meeting we eyes. She's smiling, but not a proud I-got-it-out-of-you smile; a loving one.

"How far?" She asks quietly. Part of me screams at me not to tell her, to keep my secret to myself. But I know that there is no hope of that now.

"Eight months," I reply, and I can see her eyes widen and search for any hints of a bump, but she won't and doesn't find any. She laughs a little, expecting me to be kidding. But I'm not. She sees that in my eyes.

"You're serious?" I nod and shrug my shoulders.

"I don't really get bumps. I mean a hint sometimes, but yeah not really."

"You've been pregnant before? Before the island?" I inwardly groan at the realization that I just set myself up to explain my life story. I try to stay as vague as possible.

"A couple times," I say quietly. To my relief, she just nods her head.

"How do you know?" She asks after we've been walking in silence for a few minutes.

"I stole a test from Sawyer's stash," I explain and she laughs. "I usually get a pretty good idea of it before the test though. I just know my body." She nods and we laugh.

"Who's the dad?" She asks hesitantly, in a hushed whisper. I shake my head; Sawyer and my relationship isn't exactly private, but it's not exactly public either. I know full well that he's the father, but no one else needs to. This reminds me of Kate, and I decide I need to tell her now that Juliet knows. Juliet and I make it back to the beach, and she turns toward where Jack and Sayid are sitting with a knowing smile on her face. I resist the face palm and set off to find Kate.

She's sitting with Claire and Aaron, holding Aaron and playing with his wispy blonde hair. I guess I could just tell them both. I walk over and sit down next to Claire, putting my arm on her shoulders like I always do. She smiles at me, but her smile fades when she sees the look on my face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, there's just something I need to tell you." Kate looks up. I don't want to tell them, to see the disappointment on their faces when they find out how long I kept this from them. But I have to. "I'm..." I bite my lip. "Pregnant." Their faces light up and Claire squeals with joy, wrapping her arms around me and almost tackling me. Kate is smiling, and I can tell she is thinking about the baby I lost. I sigh. The dark memories will never leave me, us, anyone.

"How long have you known?" Claire demands playfully, and I look at my feet.

"Seven months," I reply, and she gasps a little. Ugh. But she recovers herself and I am eternally grateful. The look in Kate's eyes tells me she understands why I didn't tell. I'm glad I don't have to explain myself to either of them.

"Does anyone else know?" Kate asks and I shake my head. She smiles and we laugh. I play with Aaron's toes and we all talk about names and baby stuff until I'm exhausted. I say goodbye and head off to get some lunch, and Kate comes with me.

**so thanks to everyone who's reading I love reviews so please review away!


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